You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
