Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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