STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
