I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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