dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They have beer where we have blood.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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