You can't motorboat a personality
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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