Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
