with your own penis?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
