you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
