Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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