I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
