you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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