She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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