Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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