I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
