I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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