Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
