did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
