ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
