How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
