You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
