I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
