i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had sex on a roof
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
