If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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