She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
