doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
