Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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