Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
