he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drake has all the answers
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
