I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
why does every cop we meet know your name?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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