So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
