Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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