if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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