I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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