I just threw up on my dentist
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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