and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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