tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
