Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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