Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
