somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
