I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
