i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
