Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
