He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
