Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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