she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
