The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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