brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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