I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
