That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
