so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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