I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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