NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
