I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
and you fell through a lawn chair
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
