the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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